Inkspill No. 4: Who am I, Again?

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Photo by jschumacher for http://www.morguefile.com

I woke up this morning with a thought: the thing that makes me me is not my brain power, appearance, talents, or accomplishments. Which is good, because each of these has disappointed me at one time or another. No, I am defined by love for God and love for other people. The best thing about me is the love of God that lives in my spirit, and His love never fails. What a relief it is to remember that.

As for God’s own definition of His children, there are three that stand out to me today: Beloved, Flawless, and Grace-Child (to be shown mercy and kindness). Whenever I experience failure, I flip through the Scripture, for some reason wanting to punish myself, looking for a harsh and critical Word from God that will maybe whip me back into shape. But no matter how hard I search, I cannot find a single Word of God to us that is anything but loving and merciful. I cannot find shackles in the Bible; only words that make me more and more free.

I have once again tasted the bitterness of “seeking my own”; have once again failed to do the Word and not just hear it. I turned away from my mirror.  I forgot what I look like. I forgot who I am. I looked for my future in the confusing chasm of my whims, emotions, scattered and incomplete aptitudes. But I found only more questions; no answers.

So this morning I return. I am back where I began, safe in the humble and noble daily work of the Lord, safe in the highest truth I know. I love God with all my heart, and I believe in the One He has sent.

Scripture References: Romans 5:5; 1 Corinthians 13:8; Song of Solomon 4:7; Ephesians 2:8; Hebrews 4:16; Psalm 103:8; John 8:32, 36; 1 Corinthians 13:5; James 1:22-25; John 6:28-29, 1 John 3:23, Matthew 22:37

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